Should infants sleep in parents bed
Co-sleeping while children are in the toddler stage enables you to make the most of this time. Additionally, parents who have unusual work schedules and are unable to be present at all hours may choose to co-sleep to have more precious time with their growing children.
Either way, co-sleeping can help you bond on a deeper level, and give your child a sense of safety and security. Plus, you get to see their chest rise and fall and watch their eyelids flutter. Co-sleeping can help nursing parents more readily feed their babies in the middle of the night or wee hours of the morning. Co-sleeping may even encourage extended breastfeeding. While traditional bed sharing is not advised with infants, you can find other creative ways to foster successful night-time nursing.
Some toddlers have a serious case of bedtime FOMO fear of missing out. As an adult with limited time of your own, you may have other ideas about how you want to spend your evening hours. This can lead to a war of the wills, and, spoiler alert: your toddler may win. The sleep drama can be exhausting, especially in the middle of the night , and many parents would rather keep the peace than spend hours in hostile negotiations with a tantruming toddler.
Bed sharing can cut down on the time, energy, and effort it takes to get a little one off to Snoozeville. As with all parenting decisions, you have to pick your battles. While co-sleeping is a blessing for some, other parents view it as an unfortunate habit they fell into rather than a choice they actively made. You may feel exasperated when a toddler who started out sleeping in their own bed, comes padding into your room at 1 a.
Cute as it may sound, co-sleeping can also be majorly disruptive. Suffice to say, that while toddlers look angelic in slumber, their little limbs like to flail around, and your quality of sleep may suffer as a result of this veritable dream dancing.
A study found that mothers with infant co-sleepers reported more night wakings and poorer sleep than their counterparts with infants sleeping on their own. Sleep deprivation and well-being go hand in hand. Parents are notoriously starved of rest and downtime; many moms and dad need mental and physical space to reset and refresh their bodies and minds before the start of another hectic morning.
A study found that moms who co-slept with toddlers that perpetually woke or disruptively moved around, lost an average of 51 minutes of sleep per night and had higher reported levels of anxiety, stress, and depression. Sharing a bed as a family may limit your ability to have quality time with your partner. You might not be able to catch up after a long day, snuggle, or watch a movie together.
And bedtime sex is, of course, also off the table when you have a toddler smushed between you and your other half although many parents find ways to get creative in solving this issue.
Even without the concerns of how co-sleeping affects your relationship with your partner, you may just desire some time during which you can rest and recharge without feeling touched out and on-duty. As parents, we often feel pressured to conform to societal norms and expectations. However, if you are eager to take back your mattress real estate and enforce independence, it may be time to make the big transition.
Here are a few tips to help make it a smooth process:. If you are open to a happy medium, consider room sharing. You can add a crib, a small mattress, or other separate sleeping space to your bedroom. You can take back your personal space, but still provide your comforting presence. Over time, other Western trends converged with that decree: Rising affluence and the value on independence and individualism made separate bedrooms fashionable.
As recently as the s, the kindly Dr. Meanwhile, anthropologists observed that all mammals and primates, as well as the majority of non-Western societies around the world, coslept. Therefore, it was likely that the practice had some biological advantage.
In , sudden infant death syndrome SIDS became a medical concern, and the death rate was two to three babies per 1, live births in most Western nations. The American Academy of Pediatrics took their cue, and all pediatricians recommended that babies be put to sleep on their backs, separately from adults. The SIDS rates began to decline. At the same time, researchers observed that SIDS is lowest in cultures where cosleeping is most common.
During the vulnerable age of two to three months when voluntary breathing comes online and SIDS peaks , the close supervision and presence of the adult may be especially important if the baby has a glitch in the development of her breathing mechanics. What to do? Research over the last 30 years revealed that the risk of bedsharing can be managed when it is done safely—when the infant is placed on her back and cannot become entrapped in loose furniture or bedding, in a nonsmoking environment, where parents are fully aware of where the baby is and where their own body is.
Safety precautions like these have lowered the incidence of SIDS to fewer than one baby per 1, live births. When parents and babies sleep together, their heart rates, brain waves, sleep states, oxygen levels, temperature, and breathing influence one another.
For example, animal studies found that when baby monkeys were separated from their mothers, their bodies went into severe stress. When adults and babies sleep together, McKenna and his colleagues found, they do sleep more lightly and rouse more often.
For an added benefit, that lighter sleep, or REM Rapid Eye Movement sleep, is also important for synaptogenesis , the rapid growth of connections between neurons, in newborns. But conflating a lack of nighttime sex with years of kid-enforced abstinence shows an utter and complete failure of creative thinking.
The fact is there are 24 hours in the day and most of them are ideal for sex if parents can manage to find time alone together. Sexy time will be helped if parents embrace the quickie , keep the flame lit through the dry times with flirting and touching, and schedule a time to get it on when the kid is with a relative or at a playdate. If it is, there were probably some deeper problems to begin with.
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